- There Is No Tomorrow. You’ve only got right now, today, to do the right thing and to be there emotionally for your children.. Once this “right now” is gone, it’s gone forever. Decide that you will make the most of every single moment as often as possible. Decide that you will give them your complete attention even if it means setting your stuff aside. Of course you won’t be at the 100% level. No one is. But if you decide in this right now moment to utilize as many of the following right now moments with your kid’s benefit held at the forefront, they will benefit from your decision.
- Begin With The End In Mind. It won’t do any good when your child is eighteen years old to look back and wish you’d done things differently. Right now is when you get to make the decisions that will affect his getting to eighteen. Think through what you’d like that to be and then think about how you’ll have to “be” in the intervening years to help your child accomplish that. Be sure to listen to what your child says he wants and weave that into the plan. Help your child become an achiever. Your primary goal as a parent is to give your children the tools that they can use to lead happy, healthy and successful lives. That’s all that matters. That is your magnificent obsession. Remind yourself each day of the goal you’re working towards and remind yourself that it doesn’t happen in a single day.
- Your Influence Is Greatest Every Day. Teaching is what you do every time you interact with your children. And it always happens today. There isn’t a moment when you are not teaching your children – if you’re helping with schoolwork, watching their team sports or just sitting down to the family meals. It doesn’t matter if you’re having dinner in your kitchen or if you’re a part-time parent who is having dinner at McDonald’s. What matters is that you’re really there. You are a guide and an anchor. Know that you are a teacher, that you are a role model. That’s how you will have the greatest impact on your children. Parenting isn’t about stirring parenting tips or big events. It’s about the quiet times and the little things.
- Listen To Them. You’ll Be Amazed. Listening to your children is the essence of being with them. You have to shut down the voice inside you that prattles on about your own past or perhaps your own future. You don’t need to pre-think up an answer to them. If you do, you won’t hear what they are saying to you. If you’re not present with your children, they know it. What is the message you’re telling them if you’re not present? They’re not worthy? They’re not important? They’re not valuable? Stop. Look. Listen. This means to set aside whatever you are working on, stop watching the television.V., stop reading the paper, stop thinking about other things. Look. Look into their eyes, you’re less likely to be distracted when you’re looking into their eyes. Listen. Don’t let that voice in your head drown them out. Sometimes to make sure I’m listening, I will repeat in my head what they’re saying.